Heart palpitations, getting tense and ready to fight or run away is a result of fight or flight response, not anger issues.
What is it?
Observing a change in stimuli in our environment, our evolutionary urge to perceive the change as a threat and to defend ourselves or to run away kicks in. Anxiety and depression are reactions to the uncertain change in stimuli we are experiencing.
Physiological changes in the body due to perceiving a threat include heart racing, shortness of breath and being on high alert.
Physiological changes in the body due to perceiving a threat include heart racing, shortness of breath and being on high alert.
How does it relate to our behavior?
Fight or flight relates to recognizing our fears and being weary of others comes from our need to remember family,and predictors. We needed memories to determine what was safe, and what To stay alive our species had to remember that if we went up to a bear, we would probably get killed, or staying out past a certain time would get you killed in the past.Fight or flight also relates to classical conditioning as we learn from cause and effect what keeps our species alive. Whereas classical conditioning if different for everyone, Fight or flight involves our species as a whole.
During a perceived threat of abandonment we either fight for our partner (instead of a bear) by acting out by starting fights. Or we use flight by running off, needing space from the situation or avoiding a situation or event that happened
Our body and mind observes there is something threatening and sadly we don't have lions and tigers and bears, but people close to us. The real fear is can we trust someone to not hurt us emotionally. No one wants to have their heart broken so when a new relationship starts, platonic or romantic. Instead of running from lions we want to run, or fight to stop getting close to people. If a lover changes his or her tone with us, our fight or flight defense kicks in as a reaction to that change of stimuli we have perceived as a threat.
Acting out is survival
People perceive threats in relationships by using ways they feel will make them feel comfortable. People with BPD or anxiety will become clingy, or by devaluing a person. we see these as psychological responses, which they are because of thousands of years of flight or flight. Our responses to abandonment is just the a different, modern version of fight or flight.
Pushing people away, trying to regain control, starting fights are just our way of protecting ourselves if we feel our vulnerability is threatened.
Use the fight or flight response to understand why people do what they do.
The best way to overcome this response is to understand what is happening for we can't always stop our bodies from protecting ourselves with the flight or flight response. It is not always as easy as breathing in and out. Just remind yourself that thousands of years of evolution caused your reaction and don't worry if breathing techniques do not work as the fight or flight response evolved with us for a reason,to protect us and keep us alive. Just remember that it IS normal reaction to YOUR perceived threat, whether others think it is "real," or not it is still something you feel is threatening to you. Communication is key to this reaction as telling your partner, or friends you are having this response to something you feel is threatening is better than freaking out and no one understanding why.
References
CMHC. (n.d.). Fight or Flight. Retrieved June 10, 2017, from https://cmhc.utexas.edu/stressrecess/Level_One/fof.html
The Editors of Encyclopædia Britannica. (n.d.). Fight-or-flight response. Retrieved June 10, 2017, from https://www.britannica.com/topic/fight-or-flight-response
Fight-or-flight response. (2017, June 01). Retrieved June 10, 2017, from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fight-or-flight_response
Changing Minds. (n.d.). Fight-or-Flight Reaction. Retrieved June 10, 2017, from http://changingminds.org/explanations/brain/fight_flight.htm
A Sensory Life. (n.d.). Fight or Flight. Retrieved June 10, 2017, from http://asensorylife.com/fight-or-flight.html
Learning junction. (2014, November 12). The Stress Response- Fight or Flight [Video]. Learning junction.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mtRrxNTnyh8
Bozeman Science. (2012, January 9). Fight or Flight Response [Video]. Bozeman Science.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m2GywoS77qc
CMHC. (n.d.). Fight or Flight. Retrieved June 10, 2017, from https://cmhc.utexas.edu/stressrecess/Level_One/fof.html
The Editors of Encyclopædia Britannica. (n.d.). Fight-or-flight response. Retrieved June 10, 2017, from https://www.britannica.com/topic/fight-or-flight-response
Fight-or-flight response. (2017, June 01). Retrieved June 10, 2017, from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fight-or-flight_response
Changing Minds. (n.d.). Fight-or-Flight Reaction. Retrieved June 10, 2017, from http://changingminds.org/explanations/brain/fight_flight.htm
A Sensory Life. (n.d.). Fight or Flight. Retrieved June 10, 2017, from http://asensorylife.com/fight-or-flight.html
Learning junction. (2014, November 12). The Stress Response- Fight or Flight [Video]. Learning junction.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mtRrxNTnyh8
Bozeman Science. (2012, January 9). Fight or Flight Response [Video]. Bozeman Science.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m2GywoS77qc