Normalization of abuse targeted towards of "undesirable people"- fat, ugly & mentally ill. According to Out of the FOG, normalizing is often done by the abuser to the abused to ensure the abused sees the abusive behavior towards them as reasonable. Abusers typically convince the abused it is as a result of love, care, and wanting the best for them. In abusive relationships, we see numerous abuse tactics such as controlling what the person looks like, controlling eating habits & name calling as well as controlling thoughts and emotions.
Acceptable to tell a person how or what to be if they don't "fit in"
Society wrongly has the idea that people who are not thin, beautiful, or sane demand shame in order to fit in with the "acceptable" people. When these techniques are executed to someone who harmonizes with society's standards, it is abuse, but when those same techniques are used to someone who doesn't "fit in" it is seen by society as "concern" and "love." Out of the FOG states that tactics such as minimizing feelings (or a person's right to listen to their body's cues) are signs of abuse. Yet in society, we claim it is acceptable for someone who is mentally ill , fat or ugly to tolerate this behavior from others. We normalize abuse by making people believe these abusive tactics are what is best for them. As an illustration, when people bullied Kylie Jenner to the point of her buying plastic surgery was perfectly accepted by everyone on account of "tough love." This is especially proven in relationships where an abuser tells a person who may be pretty, thin and sane they can only eat certain things, or think certain thoughts. or look a certain way the abuse is evident. However, if a fat, mentally ill, ugly person is told they should only eat certain things, think (or not think) certain thoughts, or obtain plastic surgery it is unfortunately seen as perfectly acceptable.
"Only trying to help"
As a society, we tend to think it is acceptable to shame a person into therapy, plastic surgery to fix their ugly looks, losing weight. Normalization of abuse occurs when society decides anything that is distasteful is fair to punishment for the reason that it is undesirable to the community around us. To force someone to live as you desire and fulfill bullying and psychological abuse to enforce these wishes since culture states it is acceptable, is normalizing abuse. A sentence that stuck out for me read at Out of the FOG was "The motivation could be anything: money, sex, grades, acceptance, favor, or the promise of love."Society normalizes abuse by believing the abuser is "showing how much they care," or "trying to help." Although we may think we are trying to help someone get healthier by losing weight, an abuser has the same mindset.While thinness, pretty and sane comes naturally to some of us, not everyone is the same.
Normalization of emotional blackmail if someone isn't "perfect"We normalize abuse by telling people who do not subscribe to the definition of what is acceptable in a society that they will not be loved, this is abuse. We tell people to lose weight or to receive psychiatric help or to think positive in order to receive love, acceptance, trust. Something ALL people should be able to have since it is one of our basic needs.No matter how "crazy, " a person may be, or what body type a person is, he or she is ALWAYS allowed to his or her own thoughts and his or her own body without shame. He or she is allowed to the freedom of his or her own body without experiencing emotional abuse from others to "fit in." "Love yourself first before anyone else can" type statements ARE normalizing abuse and verbal abusive statements. If I can't love myself, I am not allowed to be loved? The only way I am allowed the reward of being loved back is if I fit into a standard that, for me, might be unachievable.
Society wrongly has the idea that people who are not thin, beautiful, or sane demand shame in order to fit in with the "acceptable" people. When these techniques are executed to someone who harmonizes with society's standards, it is abuse, but when those same techniques are used to someone who doesn't "fit in" it is seen by society as "concern" and "love." Out of the FOG states that tactics such as minimizing feelings (or a person's right to listen to their body's cues) are signs of abuse. Yet in society, we claim it is acceptable for someone who is mentally ill , fat or ugly to tolerate this behavior from others. We normalize abuse by making people believe these abusive tactics are what is best for them. As an illustration, when people bullied Kylie Jenner to the point of her buying plastic surgery was perfectly accepted by everyone on account of "tough love." This is especially proven in relationships where an abuser tells a person who may be pretty, thin and sane they can only eat certain things, or think certain thoughts. or look a certain way the abuse is evident. However, if a fat, mentally ill, ugly person is told they should only eat certain things, think (or not think) certain thoughts, or obtain plastic surgery it is unfortunately seen as perfectly acceptable.
"Only trying to help"
As a society, we tend to think it is acceptable to shame a person into therapy, plastic surgery to fix their ugly looks, losing weight. Normalization of abuse occurs when society decides anything that is distasteful is fair to punishment for the reason that it is undesirable to the community around us. To force someone to live as you desire and fulfill bullying and psychological abuse to enforce these wishes since culture states it is acceptable, is normalizing abuse. A sentence that stuck out for me read at Out of the FOG was "The motivation could be anything: money, sex, grades, acceptance, favor, or the promise of love."Society normalizes abuse by believing the abuser is "showing how much they care," or "trying to help." Although we may think we are trying to help someone get healthier by losing weight, an abuser has the same mindset.While thinness, pretty and sane comes naturally to some of us, not everyone is the same.
Normalization of emotional blackmail if someone isn't "perfect"We normalize abuse by telling people who do not subscribe to the definition of what is acceptable in a society that they will not be loved, this is abuse. We tell people to lose weight or to receive psychiatric help or to think positive in order to receive love, acceptance, trust. Something ALL people should be able to have since it is one of our basic needs.No matter how "crazy, " a person may be, or what body type a person is, he or she is ALWAYS allowed to his or her own thoughts and his or her own body without shame. He or she is allowed to the freedom of his or her own body without experiencing emotional abuse from others to "fit in." "Love yourself first before anyone else can" type statements ARE normalizing abuse and verbal abusive statements. If I can't love myself, I am not allowed to be loved? The only way I am allowed the reward of being loved back is if I fit into a standard that, for me, might be unachievable.
References
Tariq Thowfeek. "Normalizing." Out of the FOG. 4 Nov. 2015. Web. 24 Dec. 2017. <http://outofthefog.website/top-100-trait-blog/2015/11/4/normalizing>
Tariq Thowfeek. "Normalizing." Out of the FOG. 4 Nov. 2015. Web. 24 Dec. 2017. <http://outofthefog.website/top-100-trait-blog/2015/11/4/normalizing>